Dear Stupid Driver:

Let give you a hint - it's 06:00 and you're busy spinning your tires on the foot of snow that's out front of my house - you know who you are.

First up, let me remind you that your car's throttle is not a binary device - it has more than two states. Squeeze the throttle gently - you're not Fred Flintstone trying to stop in a hurry - in fact just slamming your foot to the floor is making things worse.

Second, as rhythmic as your abuse of the throttle was, it wasn't even as musical as the overpowered stereo the teenager down the street has in his car.

The whizzing sound was not the sound of sudden, gratifying acceleration - it was the sound of your bald tires polishing the ice to a nice shine which would make any Zamboni operator proud.

Lastly, if you really are that stuck, get out and push - or better yet, park your car and take the bus until spring. Seriously - you'd be doing the rest of us a favour.