Monday, July 25, 2005

What To Do If...

Your anti-paranoia medication isn't working...

Symptoms: For no rational reason whatsoever, you believe that someone is "out to get you"; A fear of old horrors coming back to life; a complete loss of perspective outside of your little box.

Treatment: Therapy, along with regular doses of reality and appropriate sedatives.

Sample Case: Paul Jackson, Columnist...

When I read Jackson's latest tirade, I could have sworn he was in competition with Bishop Henry for the "Tying Unrelated Issues Together" award.

In his latest column, he manages through some twists of illogic to tie together:

1. Paul Martin's comments about Chuck Cadman
2. Senator Grant Mitchell's recent commentary about Conservative Politicians
3. National Security Issues - especially in light of recent bombings in London
4. Control over Alberta's natural resources (The NEP's coming back, dontcha know)
5. Belinda Stronach at the Stampede. (Hey - at least she didn't manage to do "Cowboy-Business-Fetish Crossover" fashion!)

My goodness - what ties all of these issues together? I don't know - only the most paranoid of thinking can possibly link these things together. It's sort of like the nut-cases in the US that insist that Area 51 is keeping crashed UFOs, and the Government is busy trying to cover it all up. I think Jackson almost out-did Bishop Henry's irrational linkage of unrelated topics earlier this year in his now infamous "pastoral letter".

Somebody get Mr. Jackson a sedative and a nice "I-Love-Me Jacket" - he's apt to injure something (his brain) if he attempts actual rational thought.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

He would need MUCH more than that if he ever attempted though, much less rational thought. His entire system would go into shock at the unusual work required by neurons.

Anonymous said...

I stopped reading Mr. Jackson's column years ago after he stated that Switzerland was a NATO country.

If he can't get a simple fact like that correct...

JN

www.nishiyama.tzo.com

Grog said...

I periodically peruse his columns - mostly to remind myself how idiotic he can be.