How interesting...

For some random reason, my travels on the web this morning brought me to this little 'human interest' article on CNN.

After reading it, I sat back and mused to myself how utterly mundane the content of the article itself really is. Okay, a bunch of newlyweds are happily revelling in their new status as married. Small things, like checking off the 'married' box on a government form bring a certain novelty to them. This is all fine and dandy, I remember going through similar things when I got married. In fact, if it wasn't for the genders of the members of each couple, I don't think this article would have been written.

It's a nice little reminder to all of us that for all that we may not understand all of the people around us, and the emotional drives that lead them to various places in life, we are all human, and humanity is amazingly diverse.

I decided to do some more digging around on the subject of gay marriage - mostly out of curiousity given the outcome of several 'ballot initiatives' in the recent US federal elections.

For the most part, I found the usual collection of pro- and anti- sites, each brandishing their rhetoric like rusty swords. I won't even bother to reference them - largely because that's not what caught my real attention.

Following linkage from site to site, I eventually tripped across the website for a group called 'NARTH'. Perusing their website is possibly one of the most disturbing, alien experiences I have ever had. Here is an organization of 'Mental Health Professionals' that are claiming that they can make gay people straight.

More or less, their position seems to be largely religious in its foundations, and couched in secular pseudo-science. The usual "it isn't natural" kind of tones emenate forth from the various papers on the website, along with an assortment of assertions that no one would ever think of making towards the heterosexual population. (For example, I don't remember "choosing" my sexuality, so much as I became aware of it. If I didn't choose mine, why on earth would I believe that someone else _chose_ theirs?)

On the surface, much of what NARTH's site says almost sounds reasonable - unless you have a little bit of background in psychology. Reading their articles reminded me of the reactions to Erich von Daniken's "Chariots of the Gods". Superficially much of what he asserts sounds reasonable, until you dig a bit deeper and find that he's got something completely wrong in an area. (Chariots of the Gods made quite a stir in Archeology circles when it came out, and it took a few years apparently for a bunch of specialists in various areas to point out the problems with his theory - it's still a fun read)

I found a few websites speaking "for and against" the ex-gay support groups/ministries whatever. The consensus seemed perfectly split - the ex-gay ministries all pointed to NARTH to provide secular, "scientific" justification for the direction; the sites critical of 'ex-gay' pointed to some of the American Psychological Association's commentary on so-called "reparative therapy" techniques - which more or less state that there is no evidence it works, and worse, it can do significant harm to the patient. (Which would make me very suspicious that any therapist who is a member of NARTH may well be operating in violation of a great many ethical standards - particularly those about doing harm to their patients.)

On the subject of families, NARTH makes the following blunt statement:

5. Same-Sex Marriage

Social science evidence supports the traditional model of man-woman marriage as the ideal family form for fostering a child's healthy development.

Okay - seems almost reasonable. Just for fun, I decided to see what the APA had on the subject:

Psychological research provides no evidence to justify discrimination against same-sex couples and families. Accordingly, it is the longstanding policy of the American Psychological Association (APA) to deplore “all public and private discrimination in such areas as employment, housing, public accommodation, and licensing” against gay men and lesbians, as stated in a 1975 policy resolution of the Council of Representatives. The Association more recently stated its support for the “provision to same-sex couples of the legal benefits that typically accrue as a result of marriage to same-sex couples who desire and seek the legal benefits” in a 1998 Council resolution. Psychological research and association policy are not consistent with legislation proposed at the federal and state levels that would amend the U.S. Constitution or state constitutions, respectively, to prohibit marriage between same-sex couples.

The document was much longer, and much more detailed than this conclusion - it's actually a rather enlightening read. Some of what it asserts is contrary to what I would call "common wisdom", but the APA does try to couch its assessment in terms of research findings which should substantiate their assertions with some degree of "concrete" information.

Perhaps most disturbing about the NARTH website were two things:

1. The President of NARTH's page

2. The absolute absence of e-mail addresses for contacting NARTH - except for one associated with the membership page - and it directed to an e-mail address kept on yahoo.com.

If NARTH was bona fide, and legitimate, I would expect that it would be possible to contact them through e-mail or other means. The cloak of anonymity they try to create leaves one suspicious that they are fully aware that they are skating on the dangerous edge of things, especially where their members are engaging in this kind of therapy.

However, tying back to what started this commentary, I find myself looking at the Massacheusetts experience with Gay Marriage, and asking - "did the world end?" No, it did not. Further, it seems that those who are now married under those laws are experiencing the same happiness and validation that I did when I got married. Why would I deny someone that experience?

As for people's issues with gay sexuality - remember the words of Pierre Elliott Trudeau:

"The state has no business in the bedrooms of the nation."

Remember, the human race is infinitely variable, infinitely diverse. We are all different, and it does society no good to marginalize someone for being different.